Introduction
In a world full of noise and hurry, genuine listening has become rare — even between people who love each other the most.
Yet, listening is one of the simplest and most powerful acts of love we can give.
When we truly listen, we say with our hearts, “You matter. Your words matter.”
In his book Lasting Love: 12 Principles of Marriages That Last, John Hewett reminds us that lasting relationships are built not only on words spoken but on words heard — and sometimes, on words left unsaid.
1. Listening Is More Than Hearing
Many couples mistake hearing for listening. Hearing is passive — sound passing through the ears.
Listening, however, is active and intentional. It means turning off distractions, putting aside the need to be right, and focusing on what your partner truly feels, not just what they say.
When you listen from the heart, you give your spouse the gift of understanding — the same way God listens to us when we pray.
“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19
2. The Power of Silence
Silence in relationships is often feared, but it can also be sacred.
Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is stay quiet long enough to understand.
Instead of rushing to explain or defend, take a breath. Let there be space for reflection — space for the other person’s heart to open.
In those quiet pauses, empathy grows.
Silence says:
“I value what you’re saying more than my next sentence.”
3. Listening Builds Empathy and Trust
Empathy means feeling with someone, not for them.
When your partner feels heard, they feel safe — and where there is safety, love thrives.
John often teaches that couples who practice empathetic listening create a home where it’s okay to make mistakes because they know they’ll be met with grace, not judgment.
Here’s a simple daily practice:
Sit down together without phones or screens.
Take turns speaking for two minutes while the other just listens.
When one finishes, the other repeats back what they heard — not to correct, but to confirm. This builds not just understanding, but connection.
4. When You Feel Misunderstood
Every relationship faces moments of misunderstanding.
When that happens, resist the urge to defend yourself immediately. Ask instead:
“Can you tell me more about what you mean?”
This simple question opens doors that defensiveness shuts. It shows humility — a cornerstone of lasting love.
Remember: being right rarely brings peace, but being kind often does.
5. Listening as an Act of Love
Listening is more than a skill — it’s an act of service.
When we listen, we mirror the heart of Christ, who listens to our prayers even when we don’t have the right words.
In every marriage, friendship, and family, listening is the quiet bridge between two souls.
“I may not have every answer, but I can help you ask the right questions.” — John Hewett
Conclusion
Lasting love is not built on grand gestures but on small, daily choices — and one of the greatest of these is the choice to listen.
When we listen with patience, empathy, and grace, misunderstandings fade and connection deepens.
In silence, we often hear the truth our hearts have been missing.
Call to Action
Want to grow your relationship through better communication?
💬 Download the Compatibility Questionnaire or explore John Hewett’s book, “Lasting Love: 12 Principles of Marriages That Last.”